Check out this awesome video here by the Dark Destroyer!

Thanks to event sponsors HAND CRAFTED BY GEOFF HARDY, LIVE A LITTLE - ARTISAN GELATO and BUCK!T BELTS we had a full field of 32 frenzied rollerers who were able to entertain about a 150 strong crowd in the Kings Head Hotel's large back room and outdoor area. Although we at PACC don't need much of an excuse for a night out, having a spot on the Velo-Fringe calendar meant people new to our club droppd in to see what we're all about.

The Roller Frenzy concept is pretty simple, run as many roller races as we can, keep them short sharp and frenzied, and handicap the riders to keep the racing close and give everyone a chance to win.

Your friendly PACC volunteers set up the event infrastructure and tested the beers and food out (just to make sure they're OK ;-) from 5pm.  Although the first qualifiers weren't due to start until 7pm, SASI rider Rikki 'Rikster' Belder turned up early for her TT early so we could work around her other cycling committments.  A small crowd of after work drinkers saw her spin out a blistering qualifying time of 20.81secs - it turned out she was outright fastest rider on the night! Anna 'Mearesy' Meares was second outright fastest in 21.13, fastest bloke Phil 'Dicko' Dixon relegated to third just ahead of Shane 'Harry' Harris 21.52.  Good on SueAnn 'Miss Wiss' Woodwiss for tipping $100 into the Little Heroes Foundation collection box to rig the qual ride against Mearesy and trying to psyche Meares out on the line with a familiar trademark stare.

Thanks to PACC's Dicko for restoring some lovely Cinelli rollers and donating them to Mearesy to auction off with some goods donated by Vittoria, won by Gus Kingston for $333.  Dicko's family's generosity didn't stop there with little Georgia making loom bands and selling them to the crowd to raise money for the Little Heroes foundation, over $47 was raised by her.

After the TT round each rider drew a random number to determine their spot on the big wall knockout chart, to the paths to the finals was set - and Fastest and Slowest Blokes and Chicks got a bottle of wine.

  • Fastest Woman: Rikster 20.81
  • Fastest Man: Dicko 21.44
  • Slowest Woman: Procrastinator 34.00 (she procrastinated so much she actually missed her original qual ride and has to TT solo)
  • Slowest Man: Grease Monkey 29.92

From then on the handicapper and time keepers was kept pretty busy with rapidfire 20sec races for the first knockout round.  First rider knocked out of the competition was skinsuit, headband and beer google wearing Kelly 'Smiling Assassin' Robinson who won a  set of wooden spoons for coming D.F.L.  All other riders knocked out in the first round either won some Live a Little Artisan Gelato or a bottle of wine for their short lived troubles. See Peckerlegs knock out Mearesy in this video.

Winners are Grinners and Losers are...?. Mearesy and Peckerlegs

A few of our dest dressed did a quick twirl on the catwalk for best dressed, it was out of Colin 'Zeke' Maher for some of the horrendous low-slung tights on earth paired with a stars and stripes gut-revealing jersey, Nat 'Dust Bandit' Redmond for a frilly dress/knicks combo, and Michael 'SIC MIC' Chaffey with a sleeveless jersey/knick combo with pint holder on his brand new bike. SIC MIC won by noise-o-meter.

After 3 rounds we were down to the final 4 riders.  A steadily improving Rikster had managed to ride a 19.52sec off scratch in R3 forcing the Handicapper to move her to -5m, while Robert 'Cannonball' Cannon had already been dragged back 25m. Gordon 'Flash' Kanki-Knight had moved 15m back, and Dean 'Deano1' Bottrill had stayed on the same mark all night, managing to lift to pip his opponant each time as the crowd chanted his name.

It was Cannonball (120m) vs Flash (30m) in a nailbiting ride to make the Grand Final, with Cannonball the victor by half a second.  The second Semi between Deano1 (40m) and Rikster (-5m) was even closer, with the timekeepers actually both recording the same watch time, but they both agreed Deano1's clock hand appeared to hit the line first.  it was going to be an all-Port Grand Final.

All the 4 finalists and to have a bit of a lie-down from both their expended effort and the shock that the 3/4 and 1/2 finals will be over 1000m, two laps of the clock.  This allowed the handicappers and timers get a loo/beer break and the crowd to psyche up for the finals.

The 3/4 final was a close affair with Flash (60m) more comfortable over the longer distance over a very lactic suffering Rikster (-5m) with about hald a second separating them on the line.

For the Grand Final Cannonball (200m) was already sporting a pursuiter's cough just from the effort of mounting his bicycle, while Deano1 (80m) was looking fresh and keen to race over double the distance with longer efforts suiting him as a stayer.  It was DEANNOOOOOOOO who took out Roller Frenzy V!  You can find the full results of each and every round here.

Thanks to everyone who helped make the night a sucess. Timers Aimee, Paula and Michelle, Clock arm pointer Megan, wall chart scribe Abbey-Leigh, fork stand helpers Sean, David, Mark and Craig, handicapper Gemma and commentator Graeme. And anyone else we missed. Was a hoot!  Turns out even the bar staff at the Kings Head were placing bets on each round, we thank the pub got supporting our event. We hope to see you all back there again.